I’m making new friends and experiences. I’m coming out of my shell again and I’m scared it’s gonna happen again. I can believe someone would do that to me. I used to be friend with this girl named E. E and I met through a friend named V and they were in friend group consisting of E, V, G and H. From time to time I would hangout with them at school. And during my last year of high school I fully integrated them as I had no other friend group, we did puzzles together, we ate fast food together, we played dnd in a group and eventually that group and a few other students decide to rent a limousine for prom. A group chat was created to make the communication about the limousine more simpler. V wasn’t part of the group much in the last year of high school. E and I got closer in that year and even had planned to match for prom. I learned more about H and even went to their house once and met their dog. E and G had a fall out and both said things that can be regretful and H as...
I can’t believe I don’t have a boyfriend anymore. I think I want a boyfriend because I want another reason to be happy. I want the support that I see these online long time together relationship. I’m already happy but having a boyfriend just has proven to make me happier and knowing I have someone with whom to build something long term would make me feel more grounded.
I want to bang my head against a wall. I want to scream and shout outta my own head. I cannot do this anymore and I miss my boyfriend. I am so lonely while still having friends but no real close ones because the only person I can mostly trust is my boyfriend but he is so far why can't people give me money so I can bring him here or visit him, I miss him so much and I am tired of being alone all the time. I can't even cry anymore or work on personal projects because of school and meds. I can't with this anymore, WTFFFF AM I DOINNNNG!
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