idklo2

 its crazy how all i really wanted was to be loved and cared about but all I did was love and care others, I don't even love myself and I cant because I have no idea what that even means. 


my mom is mad again, the sad thing is even after I'm gone she is still going to treat my sister badly which will lead to being distressed and then her father is going to sit in the living room and eat his food. and me? there is nothing I can do I'm only her sister and I wasn't that present in the past few years (I tried to be better these past few weeks tho) therefore she doesn't trust me and she doesn't have to. 

my mom will never change or hear me out

my dad will never change or hear me out

my family will never be real

my friends will never be real

my cat, simi, will only live in my mind

my happiness will never be tangible 


all thanks to you, my stupid world, my stupid self and my wrongful view of the world

I wonder why I ever thought I had a chance, I never deserved one

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