I just wish someone could just actually care about me as much as I care about them. although my wishes never really come true, it's my actions that come through.
I’m making new friends and experiences. I’m coming out of my shell again and I’m scared it’s gonna happen again. I can believe someone would do that to me. I used to be friend with this girl named E. E and I met through a friend named V and they were in friend group consisting of E, V, G and H. From time to time I would hangout with them at school. And during my last year of high school I fully integrated them as I had no other friend group, we did puzzles together, we ate fast food together, we played dnd in a group and eventually that group and a few other students decide to rent a limousine for prom. A group chat was created to make the communication about the limousine more simpler. V wasn’t part of the group much in the last year of high school. E and I got closer in that year and even had planned to match for prom. I learned more about H and even went to their house once and met their dog. E and G had a fall out and both said things that can be regretful and H as...
I can’t believe I don’t have a boyfriend anymore. I think I want a boyfriend because I want another reason to be happy. I want the support that I see these online long time together relationship. I’m already happy but having a boyfriend just has proven to make me happier and knowing I have someone with whom to build something long term would make me feel more grounded.
I want to bang my head against a wall. I want to scream and shout outta my own head. I cannot do this anymore and I miss my boyfriend. I am so lonely while still having friends but no real close ones because the only person I can mostly trust is my boyfriend but he is so far why can't people give me money so I can bring him here or visit him, I miss him so much and I am tired of being alone all the time. I can't even cry anymore or work on personal projects because of school and meds. I can't with this anymore, WTFFFF AM I DOINNNNG!
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