dear her,
I wish I could be angry instead of sad because people who are assholes can even be praised by others but instead, I am sad so people pity me, or pretend they give a shit about me because they don't wanna see me cry because of them because its too much, my feelings are too much. I just wish I could stop caring about people's feelings and just be mad at absolutely everyone and make them pay but I can't because I still think it's my fault because they say it's my fault: I'm too this or I'm too that, simply too much. my mom knows, my dad knows, my "friend" knows, the people I use to talk to know and there is nothing I can do besides pretending I am fine so I don't burden them because even if I dared to be honest so I could get help they would get tired of me because there is a reason why they are not here right now and a reason why I can't call anyone because when I do I am always reminded how much of a burden my feelings and thoughts are and I am sorry I've been too much of coward to end it or just burn myself but it hurts all the time if that makes you feel better there is not a day I can remember in the past 10 plus years of my life where it didn't hurt. I just wish someone would just shoot me, a quick and almost painless death.
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