wHAat's DepResIoNn anYwaYys?

dear her, 

I've watched the new alchemy of soul episode and I've decided to wait until next weekend to you know, kms. I'm excited since there's a new episode tomorrow and, two, next weekend on each individual day so that way, I can watch most of the show before passing away. this show is literally the only thing keeping me alive and the only thing I seem to enjoy besides talking to that one guy from the states who now says I can only talk to him once a month which I obviously won't be able to do but I guess it's for the better. I won't watch another person enjoy talking to me and then say they can't ever talk to me again like alexander. I had it coming with that one. Alexander is gone. Iulia has a dog now. Ashley is doing her own thing. Eliana is only a school friend. A-A is only a school friend and the rest of the people are only surface-level friends. the American dude was pretty funny though and silly it was refreshing. I told him about the need to eat things and gain weight so he gave me a daily menu that I can repeat for cheap and he gave me a workout routine and he gave me advice, and even if there were not the best or most useful, it was nice having someone actually doing something instead of saying I can't help you or I don't know how to help you when they didn't even try. at least, I have done that before my passing. he has an interesting personality too, likes watches, spends most of the time on his own, likes to talk to people at times, likes to workout, has a very similar day-to-day life and can be annoying at times, because of his repetitive jokes, but if I tell him in a constructive criticism way he improves. at some point, we were talking about people being mean to me and stuff and I told him that I don't really fight back since I don't like to waste my energy and he just responded that I should call them "goofy" because at the end of the day they're going to go home and feel stupid because the girl they were making fun of called them "goofy" and I found that so fun and nice weirdly enough. although, it's probably because it's the silliest response I've ever heard towards that but I feel like that it is the right response to it. furthermore, even though I remember him saying that very well I'm obviously not going to do that. I wonder how he is doing. 

anyhow, I'm going to watch the new avatar by myself now. oh, and I unfollowed everyone on Instagram and deleted all my chats in discord and unfriended everyone. SO CLEAN! like I was never even there! is that a good thing 


mybulorne


                           "Depression? it's like drowning and not being able to die"

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